 Who is Writing Your Memoirs?This may sound like a trick question but it's not. In fact, it is a very serious question that will determine-or at least greatly influence-the tone and the theme of your narrative. "But, I'm writing my memoirs!" you might answer. Yes, of course. You! But, which you! We've all had the experience of the various parts of ourselves in internal debate. For instance, a friend asks you to go to the movies. One part of you thinks, "Sure!" Another part responds, "Wait a minute. You still have yard work to do. Shouldn't you get it done?" Still another part insists, "Oh don't be such a pill. You only live once." To which another part answers, "Yeah, and do you want to live it with a messy yard!" The same internal debate occurs as you writing your memoirs. You have many parts vying for authorship of your memoir, each insisting on setting the tone and theme of your story. Which part is going to prevail-are you going to let prevail? Will it be the hero? ("I survived against great odds!") Or, the martyr? ("Life was really hard, and I just did my best!") Or, perhaps it's the saint? ("I just did the whole thing because I loved my family so much!") Or, the slugger, the fighter of city hall? ("Nobody was going to tell me I couldn't get my way!") Obviously, the martyr part will give a different slant to your story than will the hero part and perhaps the martyr might even choose completely different stories to write about than the hero. Which part you allow to be the narrative voice of your story will shape the message (theme) you ultimately make-and it's completely up to you to decide! What is important is that you be conscious of choosing the narrative voice (the "who is telling this story") that will most contribute to your story. It will make all the difference. (Think of your inner sphere of parts as a kingdom with warring knights. It's the king or queen in the end who must make decisions and not the parts. When you decide on the appropriate narrative voice you are acting as the sovereign of your writing experience. The memoir of one woman in lifewriting group tele-class just blossomed when it was pointed out to her that the voice she was writing in seemed in conflict with much of the story she would speak during the tele-class. Why this conflict? Perhaps something about permission to tell her own story in her own way. Perhaps something about repeating the tone her family had always told the story in. Who knows? What was important was the realization that the narrator's voice wasn't working. By changing the narrator (what part of her inner self was telling the story), she was able to change the tone quickly and easily. And your own memoirs? Are they being told by the right narrator, the right narrative part of yourself? |