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Why Memoir Writing Is Easy
Pity the fiction writers. They have to dream up their entire stories. They have to invent characters. They have to build imaginary cities and towns and forests in their mind. Envy the lifewriters. Everything is laid out for them. All the facts, the names, the dates, the places, are just waiting to be gathered together into a handsome volume. Now envy yourself. You are handed plot lines, characters, and setting. Your stories don't hinge on exact dates or times. All you have to do is write it down. What could be easier? Memoir writing gives you a chance to write down the family stories or life experiences that you have been longing to share. It can be energizing and cathartic. Your children will cherish what you have written. If you publish your work to a larger audience, complete strangers will chuckle over Aunt Sarah's culinary efforts and will mourn with you when Uncle Hank dies during the war. Only you decide what material is included, and what is left out. And you are able to infuse your point of view, your interpretation, throughout the manuscript. A memoir by definition is the record of one person's experience. If your brother doesn't like what you write, well, then, he can write his own memoir. You dread finishing the writing, because it has been an invigorating process. | Why Memoir Writing Is Hard Envy the fiction writers. They get to dream up whatever characters they want, invent whatever settings they want. They get to direct their characters like puppets, making things up as they go along. Pity the lifewriters. They are bound by facts, by dates, by who-said-what and what-they-meant. One misstatement and the entire work is discredited. Now pity yourself. You are stuck with a cast of characters you didn't choose, places you barely remember, and a lot of fuzzy dates and recollections. And you have to write it all down! Is there anything harder? Memoir writing can dredge up unsettling memories. It can rekindle old arguments. It can set fire to new ones. What will Aunt Sarah's children think if you expose her terrible cooking? Are you going to tell everyone that Uncle Hank died because he drove off the road while drunk? No matter what you write, someone will be unhappy with what you left out. Someone will challenge your memory of a critical event, criticize your interpretation of it. You dread starting the process. It will be nothing but hard, thankless work. |
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That's pretty black and white, isn't it? Of course, the reality is somewhere in the middle. If you look at a color chart, in between black and white is a zone of all of the colors of the rainbow. And that is where you will find yourself most of the time. As long as you stay in this middle zone, your writing will be its most satisfying. It will be rich with nuance and feeling. You will work over each word, but each word will reward you. You will consider the tone of each piece. You will stare out the window for five minutes plotting ahead about what you will write.
The times to be worried about your writing are when it is too easy, or too hard--when you are in the end zones. If the writing is too easy, it might mean that you are just glossing over the surface story. You are recalling events, but you aren't infusing them with depth and meaning. You may be failing to draw connections between various parts of your stories. Yes, you are getting a lot down on paper--who, what, when, where--but are you exploring the significance of events: the why? If the writing is too easy, it might also mean you are not paying attention to the story. You are letting it tell itself, rather than guiding it with your writer's hand and reader's eye. You may not be questioning the importance of each part of your story to the overall manuscript. You've told the story about Aunt Sarah melting the plastic dish in the oven hundreds of times, but now it's up to you to make that story work as insight into her character. If the writing is too hard, it might mean that you are trying to write a final draft on your first attempt. You might be afraid to move on to the next sentence until the current one is perfect. But that is not your purpose. Your purpose is to get a first draft on paper. Sure, make it as good as you can, but remember that it's a first draft. The final manuscript might bear little resemblance to it. Insights and details will occur to you throughout the entire writing process. If the writing is too hard, it might also mean that there are emotions connected to what you are writing about that need to be attended to. Writing about a difficult time in your life can give rise to all kinds of delayed emotions. You might need to set aside the story writing for a bit while you experience those emotions. You might even want to let the emotion spill out on a piece of paper, writing in stream of consciousness. The more you write, the more you will find yourself in the middle zone of color. That's just where your writing needs to be. |